Premier Christianity reports – We are currently in National Marriage Week – the seven days running up to Valentine’s Day. Although sometimes one wonders at the purpose of these special weeks and days – I hope you are rejoicing in the fact that February is both Canned Food Month and National Grapefruit Month – there should be no denying the value of celebrating marriage. Every line of evidence, whether it be from the Bible, history, psychology, sociology or just common experience, tells us that successful marriages are truly good things.

Thriving marriages don’t just simply bring blessing for the husband and wife involved, they bring a blessing that is contagious and which spreads to others, whether family, neighbours or work colleagues. That effect, of course, is not simply confined to the present. Children who grow up in happy marriages are likely to seek the same for themselves. It’s a sobering thought that by impacting today’s children, the effects of a good marriage are likely to persist well into the next century. Unfortunately the opposite is true. Unless healed by the grace of God – and such healing does happen – the fallout from a failing marriage can linger on for decades and be transmitted on to successive generations.

The problem is we live at a time where for many reasons marriage is being increasingly pushed to the edges of our culture. Let me briefly suggest three subtle contemporary trends that contribute to this marginalisation.

First, there is a devaluation of marriage. Whether it be by learned attacks on the ‘outmoded social structure’ of marriage, another depressing TV drama depicting marital breakdown or the drip-drip effect of a thousand cynical jokes and comments, the value of marriage is constantly cheapened. Those of us who believe in marriage need to affirm it constantly. Even if we may struggle in our own marriages we need to speak up for it. It’s worth it!

Second, there is a distraction from marriage. The emphasis in society is away from preserving the institution of marriage to developing and improving relationships. Now I’m all in favour of improving relationships – who isn’t? – but this shift is significant. The hallmark of the change is the way in which the National Marriage Guidance Council (founded, incidentally, by a clergyman) has now become Relate. Although today’s world offers many alternatives to marriage, this should not encourage us to marginalise it. No other social arrangement for human beings comes with such a long tradition of providing stability.

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As a church member it’s easy to want or even expect the church’s leadership to do all the work. We expect our church to offer the right programs, produce solid sermons, offer enough Bible studies and small groups, put on the right events, do enough outreach, offer mission trips and so on. But have we ever stopped to think about our responsibility as Christians to the church and our pastor? There are burdens that should be shared by church members and their pastor.

Erik Raymond, pastor of Emmaus Bible Church and writer for The Gospel Coalition, has written an article titled “What is a Church Member’s Responsibility to Their Pastor?”  Raymond consulted the writings of Samuel Jones (pastor from 1763-1814) and found 15 responsibilities for the church members and pastors in Jones’ treatise on the church. What Raymond discovered over all was a need for solidarity and support between the congregation and pastor, in terms of prayer, suffering, honor, love, and finances. You can read all 15 points of the treatise here.

Here are 3 things church members need to remember about their responsibility to their pastor.

1. CHURCH MEMBERS ARE CALLED TO OBEY AND RESPECT.

A Christian’s call to obedience is done according to God’s will and for His glory. It may not be something we want to do, but if we are in the church, God has called us to solidarity—to work together, carry each other’s burdens, and respect authority.

Hebrews 13:17 says, “Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.”

Along with obedience comes respect. God’s Word tells us that leaders in the church are worthy of honor and should be held in high regard.

Philippians 2:29 says,
“So then, welcome him in the Lord with great joy, and honor people like him,”

2. CHURCH MEMBERS ARE CALLED TO PRAY.

We pray often for those in the congregation who are suffering, ill, or in need of help. But do we pray just as often for our pastor who leads us? There are so many things we can pray for our pastors and their family. Crosswalk contributor Daniel Darling explains,

“He may not ask you for it. He may seem strong and courageous and “with it” all the time. But underneath that is a fragile, desperate soul often squeezed by the pressures of serving God’s people. So pray for faithfulness, refreshment, wisdom, creativity, humility, people skills. I never fully realized the need to pray for pastors until I actually became one.”

Paul says in Ephesians 6:19,
“Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,”

And in Colossians 4:3,
“And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains.”

3.  CHURCH MEMBERS ARE CALLED TO CONTRIBUTE AND SUPPORT.

Church members are not only called to receive, they are also called to give. We are called to give of our time, our obedience, respect, and tithes. Jones writes,

“They ought to stand by them in their trials, afflictions, and sufferings…

They ought to contribute towards their maintenance, that they may apply themselves to the extensive duties of their office…

This support of the minister should not be done in the way of charity, or alms, but as a matter of right; and, if the people are able, it ought to exceed his bare necessity, that he may be able to be exemplary in acts of hospitality…”

Our pastors need our support through trials they face; pastors are not perfect, they have struggles like everyone else. Pastors need their congregation to step up to the plate and take on responsibilities within the church so they can continue their work; this is part of the shared burden within the church and a sense of solidarity that the work cannot be done if we’re not all working together. Pastors also need to be paid a fair salary so they can support their family.

I once heard a pastor say that approximately 10% of church members do 90% of the work. It’s nice when you see people volunteering at church; it allows programs to continue and outreach to be done. But if it’s always the same people doing all the work, then they’re going to burn out sooner or later. If you’re not currently serving somewhere in your church, and you’re able, start inquiring about where you can step in to help those who serve regularly.

Paul wrote to Timothy saying,
“At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them.” (2 Tim. 4:16)

And to the church in Corinth:
“If others have this right of support from you, shouldn’t we have it all the more? But we did not use this right. On the contrary, we put up with anything rather than hinder the gospel of Christ.” (1 Cor. 9:12)

All of these duties “are to be performed in love to our Lord Jesus Christ,” says Jones. He references John 14:15, “If you love me, keep my commands.”

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