I feel bad for him. Truly, I do. Mainly because I understand what he was trying to say and I somewhat agree with him.

I wrote a column earlier this month clearly stating my position on whether or not feeling attraction to someone of the same gender is a choice. I do not believe, based on my own experience of unwanted same sex attraction, that the attraction in and of itself is a choice. The behavior is a choice, yes. Choosing to act upon unchosen desires is a choice, yes. But the experience of the desire is not a choice.

That being said, I also believe that if you give yourself over to a behavior that you may not necessarily desire at first and then continuously indulge in that behavior, you can begin to actually desire it. I believe, in light of my understanding of the Bible’s teaching on sin, that someone who has always experienced solely heterosexual desire can change or pervert their minds and desires by continuously indulging in homosexual behavior.

Now, why someone would give themselves over to a behavior that they don’t initially desire is incredibly difficult for me to wrap my mind around. But from what I’ve heard, men in prison grow to desire sexual stimulation or intercourse in such a desperate way that they are willing to pursue the satisfaction of those desires with someone that they are not actually attracted to.

In Romans 1, God’s word and our own experience as fallen people teach us that sinful desire isn’t something that stagnates – it builds, it grows, it spirals out of control. The more we give ourselves over to a certain sinful vice, the more of it we desire. It takes increasing levels or darker forms of that thought or action to satisfy us. Anyone that struggles with or is addicted to pornography, for example, can testify to this.

So I concur with Dr. Carson that in the case of prisoners who have previously only been attracted to the opposite sex, and then have give themselves over continuously to homosexual behavior in desperation for some form of sexual intercourse (or whatever the reason), and then as a result of that continued indulgence grow to desire that behavior, yes – it’s a choice.

To be clear, I want you to read the previous paragraph again until you fully grasp what I am saying.

People may not “choose” to experience the sexual desires they now feel, but it was their choice to start and continue to engage in homosexual behavior despite their initial non-attraction to the other same-gender party involved in the act. The resulted corruption of their sexual desire is due to their own willful choices to persist in sin.

But where I feel Carson erred is in lumping the entire same-sex-attracted to community into that one specific experience.

The majority of same-sex-attracted people in the world today experience strong sexual desire toward people of the same gender prior to ever engaging in any kind of homosexual behavior. I experienced that same attraction prior to ever engaging in any kind of sexual behavior. When I chose to start fulfilling those desires through the use of pornography in my teens or through actual sex when I was 18, they grew in strength – as all sin does, like I’ve touched on in my previous remarks. Yet the point I’m making is my initial sexual desire for the same sex was not a result of having given myself over to homosexual behavior, as is the case with some prisoners. In fact, I believe most people’s initial same sex attraction is not simply a result of having given themselves over to homosexual behavior.

In summary, Dr. Carson’s words on the matter do not in my opinion accurately represent the majority of people affected by same sex desires.

The formation of homosexuality in the heart and mind of a person is dark and mysterious. My objective was not to give a comprehensive resource on how homosexual desire develops, but to touch on one way that I believe it can – in light of Dr. Carson’s comments.

I hope that in the future Dr. Carson will think and communicate about homosexuality and the people it affects with more though and sensitivity than he has this week.

And by the way, I also hope he runs for president!!